Pedro Assunção » jokes

Red Hot Chili Peppers lyrics generator

Pedro Assunção — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 10:09:40 +0000

Here’s a little something i tried yesterday: a ruby script that mixes and matches verbs, nouns, adjectives, and colors to come up with crazy ass lyrics, red hot style. Enjoy

$nouns = IO.readlines('names.txt')
$adjectives = IO.readlines('adjectives.txt')
$verbs = IO.readlines('verbs.txt')
$adjectives << ['red','blue','green','white','black','yellow','brown','gray']
$pronouns = IO.readlines('pronouns.txt')
$adverbs = IO.readlines('adverbs.txt')
$prepositions = IO.readlines('prepositions.txt')

def get_rand(collection)
  sleep rand / 10000
  collection[rand * collection.length.to_i - 1]
end

def preposition_phrase
  "#{get_rand($prepositions).strip} the #{get_rand($nouns).strip}"
end

def adjectivated_subject_phrase
  the_part = "the" if rand.to_f > 0.5
  adjective = get_rand($adjectives).strip if rand.to_f > 0.5
  return "#{the_part} #{adjective} #{get_rand($nouns).strip}" if the_part and adjective
  nil
end

def generate_phrase
  as = adjectivated_subject_phrase
  adjectivated_subject_part = as.nil? ? get_rand($pronouns).strip : as
  preposition_part = rand.to_f > 0.5 ? preposition_phrase : ""
  verb_part = get_rand($verbs).strip
  object_part = rand.to_f > 0.25 ? get_rand($nouns).strip : ""
  the_part = (rand.to_f > 0.5 and object_part != "") ? "the" : ""
  adverb_part = rand.to_f > 0.75 ? get_rand($adverbs).strip : ""

  "#{adjectivated_subject_part} #{preposition_part} #{verb_part} #{the_part} #{object_part} #{adverb_part}".squeeze(" ").strip
end

def generate_lyrics
  result = ""
  (1..5).each do
    first_phrase = generate_phrase
    new_phrase = generate_phrase
    while new_phrase[-2, 2] != first_phrase[-2, 2] or new_phrase.split(" ")[-1] == first_phrase.split(" ")[-1] do
      new_phrase = generate_phrase
    end
    result << "#{first_phrase}\r\n#{new_phrase}\r\n\r\n"
  end
  result
end

puts generate_lyrics

Here are the sources: rhcp_lyrics_v2.tar. As a bonus there is a script to see how many attempts are required to reach the phrase “The quick brown fox”

Wank’o'meter is fun

Pedro Assunção — Mon, 23 May 2011 20:51:45 +0000

Last night i laughed like i didn’t in a really long time, watching my brother play with the android app “wank’o'meter”. Try it out, it’s guaranteed fun

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Guru meditation error

Pedro Assunção — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 08:49:40 +0000

While reading my morning web comics, i noticed this error in wulffmorgenthaler: Guru meditation error.

Apparently this is the default way the Varnish HTTP cache shows errors and – as it turns out – it comes from the old Commodore Amiga times.

It’s always refreshing to find more developers with a sense of humor

Sniper Monkey

Pedro Assunção — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 08:55:05 +0000

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They still call it Blue Screen

Pedro Assunção — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 20:54:36 +0000

After a long, long time without crashes on my windows box i finally got this one while watching a movie on vimeo.com. It seems they call the crash event “Blue Screen”. Got love the nostalgia on the windows developers

Introducing the new eyePhone

Pedro Assunção — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 13:02:29 +0000

Awesome Futurama video parodying Apple’s iPhone:

Irony of searches and one iPad visit to my blog

Pedro Assunção — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 10:47:46 +0000

Just a couple of pictures this time.

The first one is about something i noticed i was doing, while searching for a code fragment. One could call it ironic, trying to find “find”

The other is proof of my amazement by the fact that there was one person who visited my blog using an iPad

UPDATE: Turns out i was looking at a 2 day period only. This month there have been actually 4 iPad visits, hehe

Bomb This Country

Pedro Assunção — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 08:08:15 +0000

After an awesome Japanese dinner with my good friend Luizzz, we came to the conclusion that the website that was missing was one where you could bomb any country in the world. The motivation for this was part statistical curiosity and part plain bastardness (did i just make up another word?).

So over the course of about 8 hours – the next day – we came up with bombthiscountry.com, a meaningless website where you can bomb any country in the world (yes, China, Tibet is a country). If you follow it on twitter you get daily statistics on the most bombed countries in the world.

Mars produces Methane, and so do I

Pedro Assunção — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 15:00:58 +0000

Turns out that the methane that was found on Mars is not a product of meteor strikes, scientists have found, which means Mars actually produces methane.

My question is: Where are the green aliens that fart all day to produce it?

NOTE: After careful investigation, I found the following: “According to Dr. James L. A. Roth, the author of Gastrointestinal Gas (Ch. 17 in Gastroenterology, v. 4, 1976) most people (2/3 of adults) pass farts that contain no methane. If both parents are methane producers, their children have a 95% chance of being producers as well.”. Go figure.

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Medieval TRON

Pedro Assunção — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 14:16:08 +0000

With the recent buzz about the remake of the classic TRON (in the works) I could not resist to post this gem:

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